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News and Views: Bruno Mars Auditions, Another Padre Reject, Sandy Threatens and the Wilpons Go Halfway

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Mike TysonMike:

Did you enjoy the Super Bowl? It reminded me of a pre-Buster Douglas, Mike Tyson fight. Good to see that Peyton Manning set the record for most completed passes in a Super Bowl game. He had to fight hard for that since they didn’t count the passes he threw to the Seahawks.

Jimmy:

Someone wrote that it looked like he was getting older by the minute. At least I ate too much, so the night was not a total loss. These arteries won’t harden on their own.

Mike:

I did make sure to watch Bruno Mars as I expect him to play Citi Field in our concert series in 2029. A nice preview.

Jimmy:

Yes, right after the hip replacement surgery of ’28. The Chili Peppers, though, that was so desperate. Obviously the organizers tagged on the Red Hots after a bunch of aging NFL fans said, “Bruno Who?” Worst mustache ever?

Mike:

Now I understand that every team needs to do organizational filling transactions. But just once Matt Clarkcould we sign someone not drafted by Oakland or San Diego? Our latest Padre reject was picked up last week, Matt Clark.

Jimmy:

Sandy and the Super Friends are lazy. They are not doing the job, period. It’s like they’ve been hiring guys based on the cards in their collective, outdated Rolodex.

Quick list of guys they’ve brought in from those two teams:

  • Allan Dykstra
  • Colin Cowgill
  • Anthony Recker
  • Anthony Brown
  • Brandon Allen
  • Scott Rice
  • Bartolo Colon
  • Jeremy Hefner
  • Mike Baxter
  • Omar Quintanilla
  • Chris Young
  • Landon Powell
  • Brandon Hicks

It’s a Gilligan’s Island list of castaways — but so convenient for the Super Friends. We should also include the Dodgers (Rosin, Hoffmann) and Blue Jays (Carreno, Loewen, Emaus, Laffey) in the exhaustive list of resources, since DePodesta and Ricciardi were involved with those teams.

Mike:

injured swallowWhen it comes to Quintanilla we are now three time losers. Having Omar come back again gives me a mental image of an injured swallow returning to Capistrano a day too late.

Jimmy:

They know there’s a much, much larger pool of available players, don’t they? Or would that require too much effort? Though we did grab a KC castoff, Anthony Seratelli. Now that the Pirates and Royals are getting good, they are leaving crumbs on the floor.

Mike:

Speaking of Kansas City, they designated Emilio Bonificio for assignment. We most likely would have to trade something to get him. He can play shortstop and his name is not Ruben Tejada. For that reason alone I kick the tires. Perhaps he can be had for a Collin McHugh level prospect.

Jimmy:

Offensively, he’s another Eric Young, and due to make $3.5 million. Sorry, this bores me. I’m still hoping the plan is to actually promote our best hitting prospect, Wilmer Flores, and get him time at all four infield spots.

Hey, I’ve got an item. Have you seen that some Mets have been exercising over the winter? It’s being played up like some kind of radical innovation — four weeks of fitness in Minnesota for Duda and Flores and a few others (who have to pay 50% of the training fee out of pocket, btw). Are you ready for the new, sleek, “more athletic” Lucas Duda? Because he’s an outfielder now.

Mike:

I keep thinking it’s some type of threat. Sandy sounds like a cornered criminal with a hostage. This can’t be serious.

As for the exercising, it’s not a very new idea.

Jimmy:

It’s just another case of, I’m calling bullshit. Sure, I’m glad these professional athletes are exercising. That’s swell. But I can’t imagine this is going to give us an edge over the other professional athletes in baseball.

Mike:

The most interesting thing about this to me is that we make the players pay half. It’s fitting. Going halfway has always been the Wilpon way.

Halfway

 

 

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